Choosing Hope Over Fear

I have to admit, the transition from infertile to "fertile" has been a tough one for me. I didn't realize just how emotionally charged this process is. It's not like flipping a switch and suddenly my infertile identity has disappeared. It's been hard letting go of that. These past 4 years have left me a little traumatized and will probably always have an impact on how I view pregnancy and motherhood.

For so long I've lived with Murphys Law of Infertility. Almost every treatment revealed a new complication or diagnosis. Each failed cycle reinforced the notion that my body has betrayed me. And then, some miracle happened. IVF worked on the first try. How did I get so lucky? It honestly felt too good to be true.

But I've gotten to the point where I've decided not to let the fear of loss ruin this experience. I'm choosing hope and gratitude to replace it. I'm choosing to trust my body. No matter what happens, I know there is a flicker of life within me for the very first time and I'm going to love and cherish it for as long as its with me.