Standing Still

Photo courtesy of Michael Matti on Flickr

One of the most difficult things to accept is how your life is instead of how you dreamed it to be.

We all grow up with plans. Plans to go to college and get your dream job, get married, have a family. Sometimes those plans work out, but sometimes they don’t. And when it comes to something big like finding someone to spend your life with, or having children, it can be devastating if that doesn’t work out the way you had hoped, or in the timing that you had anticipated. It shakes you to your core because you now have to reimagine your life. You have to recreate your dreams to match your reality, and it’s depressing. You wonder why others have the “perfect” life but you have had to struggle so much for a life that still feels imperfect.

It’s extremely hard. And it leads to feelings of hopelessness, abandonment, and isolation. Your friends seem to be moving forward with their lives while you are standing still, waiting for something that may never happen.

What I’ve come to realize is that it’s all about perspective. When you stop comparing your life to your dream or to someone else’s reality, and just live in the moment, you can achieve peace and happiness. All we have in life, is this moment, right now. We are not promised anything. We are not guaranteed anything in life. The things we love can be taken from us at any moment. And you know what? That realization has actually lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders.

I have an amazing husband. I have 2 cute furbabies who bring me so much joy. My family is supportive and loving. My friends are funny, kind, and loyal. I have a nice house, and although it isn’t the home of my dreams, it keeps me warm in the winter and cool in the summer. My home shelters me from the wind and the rain. It’s a safe place for me. I have a good job and a reliable vehicle. I have money to pay my bills. There are so many reasons for me to feel grateful and happy with my life as it is, but so often I find myself wanting more.

I’m working at this. It’s not easy and it’s not something that will happen overnight. But I’m working on gratitude and acceptance. Accepting my life as it is, because I have not been promised anything more, and that’s okay. I may not get the family I dreamed about. But then again, maybe I will. And in the meantime I will choose to feel content with the life that I have.

I’m living in the present. And that’s exactly where I need to be.